Conflicted

My wife and my daughter and I "co-sleep". Let the judging begin. No we are not hippies, no we don't believe in the cry it out method, yes we have read every frickin book out there, we just made the decision and have been sticking it out, and YES, it's gnarly on the relationship and we probably are totally fucking up our kid, but hey, give us a break, and give me a break, like I have a choice, I don't have the BOOB. It's been 22 months and tonight as I work my horrible overnight shift that doesn't pay the bills and keeps me at a low grade terror hum, I received the text... they both laid down in my child's room on a little thin mattress, and yes... wait for it... she's sleeping there by herself, not my wife, she's pacing the grounds, my daughter is sound asleep. This was after she stated she must have a snack and use the potty mind you, again not my wife, my daughter said this to my wife. She also chose to walk back into her room in which she has never before used as a resting spot.

I am not sure if we are excited to have our own bed back? Or if we are duly distraught not to have "the missing link of the trinity/entity" occupying our love nest? I will find out tomorrow as I slip into bed after work for that one hour we are all together, will my daughter be there (I secretly hope so and kind of hope not) or will my wife be ALONE, (cue 70s funk music in the background, "I'm here to deliver the pizza".) Either way its yet another transition in the never ending saga of being a new dad. I love both my girls, my wife and my daughter, and although the lack of physical gymnastics has taken its toll on my wife and I by having our daughter rule the roost, she's only going to be so willing to sleep in our bed for so long, I was getting used to it, and enjoying the moment, enjoying the bonding we are grateful to be present for. Look, I'm sure I will get over it, I mean I need to be of service to my wife for crying out loud but I remain.... "Conflicted".

-J