A Whole Lotta Love

I am obsessed with my daughter. I honestly cannot believe how in love I am with her. Not all crazy weird, but... crazy weird. I never knew I could love someone so much. It's totally nuts. Now when I met my wife, I thought, whoa, LOVE. Now I just feel for my own mother, the hell I put her through, the intense discipline problem I was and still am, the fact that no matter what they tell you, you will never be prepared for what's in store. I honestly dig hanging out with my daughter, I get all butt hurt when she's not down. "NOOOO DADDDY!!!" This means she wants just Mommy, "NOOOOOO MOMMMY", the opposite, she just wants to hang with me. Before work she wanted me to "GET UP DADDY" and chase her little ass all over the house... I almost died. I am seriously out of shape, and seriously in trouble. She's got alot of energy, totally speaks in full sentences, knows exactly what she wants and how to express it, and well she's a looker, BIG TROUBLE. She's only 22 months. She was wearing big girl panties tonight. Digging how they didn't feel like a diaper, it's either that or "I wanna be NUDIE" she says. Oh my lord, please help me, all those years of philandering are coming back to bite me in the ass.

I know my wife would like to add to the family, but seriously, that would be so financially irresponsible. Isn't that sick, that's one of the reason's I don't want to have another child yet, because I cannot afford it. And part of me is afraid of the love, that's a full time
gig, all that loving. Sometimes if feels like my hearts going to explode, like a potato in the microwave. Still, it puts life in perspective, no matter how much money you make, or whatever it is I do, this is what it's all about....

A Whole Lotta Love

-J